Kick off!

Ok guys...this is IT!  Day 1 of the rest of my life and all that.

Breakfast wasn't vastly different to my usual, but that freaky tabouli wrap stole half an hour of my morning getting it all ready - note to self: PRE PREPARE!  I'll have to make sure I go through tomorrow's menu tonight before bed, so I'm more organised.  That said, once I did get down to making it, it was actually super easy and something I think we'll do again.

The wrap was awesomely yummy, but sadly I'm still hungry :(.  I'm still feeling really disorganised and like I haven't really "caught up" with it all, but so far, it's feeling like a good start to the program.  My heart rate monitor arrived this morning, just in time for Body Attack tonight.  I'm a bit daunted by having to hit the gym every night - more because of how much time that's taking out of my evening than anything else!

Is that me? Really? Does it have to be?

ARGGGHHHH!


This morning I took a deep breath, stripped off to bra and knickers, and had my hubby do my "before" shorts for the 12 Week Body Transformation program.  I'm doing my measurements tonight and, being a seamstress, I'm not nearly so distressed about those.  I measure myself semi-regularly when making garments, so I'm already aware that my waist over hip ratio is horrible, that I have wide hips and a huge bust.

But oh...oh when you LOOK at it in all it's digital photographic glory, it's horrible!  I looked at my before pictures, and have had another moment this morning of really struggling to see the potential in the raw material.  I've lost 10kg for goodness sake and I still look this awful?  And that ricotta cheese tummy flab, just what am I meant to do about that???

It's made me realise just how much I have my work cut out for me over the next 12 weeks.  I not only want to lose at least 12kg - I want to be able to take pictures at the end of that which don't make me want to gouge my eyes out with a bar of soap!

Bring on Monday, I say!

My first 5km race!

Just before the race

This weekend just gone I achieved my first running goal - completing a 5km course with no walking!  To say I was stoked with myself is a complete understatement.  It was a major milestone for me not just physically, but mentally.

I realised while watching Chanel 10's The Biggest Loser that a big part of my problem has been in my head, not in my legs, lungs or heart!  My body CAN do more than I've been asking of it, if I am prepared to push it.  So, I went into the race with a "no excuses, no buts" attitude.  Not "I am going to try to make it the whole way", but "I will run 5km".  No try.  Just do.

Was it hard?  You bet.  It was the hardest run I've done to date - I've never pushed myself that hard in training before.  In fact, I spent the final 200 meters just visualising myself collapsing on the grass just past the finish line and how awesome that would feel.  For the km prior to that, I was picturing the contestants in the most recent The Biggest Loser episode pulling those City  Rail trains and screaming to myself mentally I am a warrior!

My official time was 40:33.  I'm now training to run a 10km in about 3 months time, but hoping to do at least one more 5km race before then, with a time of 35minutes or less. 

Perspective...

Perspective.  It's a funny thing.  I had a really down day a week or so again - I'd lost over 8kg, and it felt like nobody had noticed.  In fact, to be brutal, most people probably hadn't, other than my constant harping on about it.  And you know why?  From their perspective, I still fit fairly and squarely into the "fat chick" box.

Have you ever noticed how we tend to categorise people?  Men and women, blonde and brunette, child and adult, fat and thin.  It's an essential instinct built in to our brains, to stop them from becoming overwhelmed.  So when you're waiting to meet your 170cm, slender girlfriend for a coffee, it's much easier to keep an eye out for her if your brain is shutting out anything not in the "female, tall, slender" categories.

And let's face it, even at 8kg down, with over 22kg to go...I'd still be firmly in the "fat chick" filter of most people's brains.  And that felt extremely depressing.

BUT!  From MY perspective...

• Being puffed now means I'm working hard at training, not getting out of breath just living my life
• I've bought three new pairs of pants in the last month, and dropped a size
• I eat better food that doesn't leave my body feeling sluggish and lethargic

So.  This is MY weight loss journey for ME and I need to start looking at my progress from MY perspective.  Not anyone else's and whatever filters their brain might need to apply.  I'm going to keep reminding myself that weight loss is about what changing my body means to me, my life and my family.

I did it! First 10kg gone - don't let the door hit ya!

Today is a milestone day for me for two reasons, only one of which I expected.

Today was the first day of school, for my gorgeous twin boys.  This, of course, was expected.

Today was ALSO the day I reached my first 10kg of weight loss!  Which was not quite expected - I thought it would take me another week to get there.

I am SO happy with today.  My sons have had a lovely, if hot, start to school and came home chattering about their various activities.  They also came home to a Mummy who feels like she is in a much better position to be a positive, healthy role model for them than she was 12 months ago.

Bring on the 20kg down milestone, I say!

You know, I could get used to this outdoor running thing...

I kicked off this morning with a run around the huge park across the road from my work.  This was my second-to-last run in Week 7 of the Couch to 5K program - which means I only have two more weeks to go.  Scary!

And you know, I actually enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would.  I'm starting to get used to the "headspace" of running outdoors, not constantly being able to check the timer to see how far I've gone and how long there is to go.  Probably also helped that I'm doing some penance from a few "treats" yesterday on Australia Day - whoops!

Onwards and downwards...can't wait to see 81.6kg - 10kg down - and buy the ThinkGeek tee I've been promising myself.

Welcome to Kath...V2

Ahoy!  I've decided I'm going to blog my journey of "30 by 30" - losing 30kg by my 30th in July 2011!  I'm already 8kg down, and about to start on the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation program to help me kick the other 22.

This is me at the start of my journey, 91.6kg:

This is me, three weeks ago finishing my first fun run, a 4.5k:

An awful finish photo, but I'm DAMN PROUD!  I can't wait to hit my first 10kg down, and just after that, getting under 80kg is a big psychological moment for me.