My (re)commitment to you - and to me!

So, week four is almost upon us already and I need to recommit to myself - and to the world - what I am going to do in the 12WBT.  Not try.  Not hope for.  WILL ACHIEVE!

I will...get under 80kg, getting me out of the "Obese" category and into merely "overweight"
I will...be able to run 8km

This is my word to you.  I've been eating clean so far, but haven't been training very well and that is going to change right now.  I did a Pump class last night thanks to a lovely friend who came to look after the children (after my "suddenly single" experience a bit over a week ago, it's no longer nearly so easy to get to the gym).  Tonight, somewhere in amongst all my tasks, I will find the time for a run on the treadmill.  We're going camping tomorrow and I will train while we are gone.

I'm headed to a wedding a week after finale and I am going to rock up there looking HAWT! :)

Meal plan, what meal plan?

Right, I've got a confession to make.

I have barely followed the meal plan at all this week.  I've kept it at or under 1,200 cals a day, but um yeah...have so not been cooking what Mish said to cook!

I'm trying to decide if this counts as falling off the wagon or not?  I'm hoping to be more meal plan focussed next week - in fact one of my jobs tonight once the midgets are in bed is to go through the meal plan and the fridge/pantry and make up a game plan for next week, including shopping list.

However, again, I suspect I'll be making a fair few changes to Mish's plan.  Why?  Well, for starters, some of it is just too darn expensive - I simply can't afford to buy rump steak for dinner!  While I was eating too much, and badly, before - it was still very cheap food.  Home brand pasta, budget beef mince, etc.  At the moment I'm spending more money to eat less food - which just doesn't make sense.

Secondly, I just plain do not like some of the stuff on Mish's plan.  Yes, yes, new things and all.  And some of it, I'm happy to give a go - e.g the trevalla fillets, even though I don't really like fish.  I drew the line at prawns though - I absolutely detest them, they are expensive and darned if I'm going to spend good money on pricey food that makes me want to chunder!

So...what are your thoughts?  Am I on or off the wagon with this one?

So, do you want it? What will you do to get it?

I watched Mish's Week 2 mindset video last night, and it could not be more perfectly synchronised with some things that are going on in my life right now.  Of course, her video was largely focused on diet and training issues, but I think you can replace those with just about anything and it is a recipe for life.

The crux of it is this - view the times you stumble in life not as failures, but face them with humility, total responsibility for your actions as an opportunity to change.  A huge message that I think we all need a reminder of from time to time.

To a large extent, we can't change the things that happen in our lives.  But we can set ourselves up to handle them better, to put them in perspective of the things that we want out of life and use each and every one as an opportunity to cement the path to get there, not create side roads of misery or sabotage ourselves by constantly looking for a bail out point.  If we reject failure as an option, all we are left with is opportunities to work towards our goals.

It's a reminder that we need set our course with total commitment to the journey, no matter how tough it is.  Because our destination is so dear to our hearts that we must arrive there, we must do what it takes, whatever it takes, to get there.  We will humble ourselves, work and sacrifice to ensure that we arrive.  The key is to remember that whatever you are doing, you are freely choosing to do it - and commit yourself to doing whatever it takes to get there.  And the view when we get there will be spectacular.

Eyes on the prize, guys.  How much do YOU want it?

Week 2 Weigh In - Race to half way!

Phew.  It has been a massive week in this house.  Some really big personal devastation that threatened to de-rail me over the weekend, but aside from one weak moment of comfort eating, I managed to stay on track with my cals (not so much with training :( ) and still lost 900g.  Which brings me under 80kg for the first time in four years!  So, that's a massive mini milestone for me.  Now it is ON like donkey kong to get to 15kg down and the half way point for my 30 by 30 goal.  So, how quick do you think I can lose 2.9kg guys? :D

Doing my step class this morning had me mulling the many benefits of classwork over solo gym sessions or home DVDs (which can all be awesome too, of course).  For me, it's several things:

• I push myself that little bit harder in a class, because of the implied peer pressure; I don't want others to think I am slacking off.  Of course, today, this lead me to pushing myself so enthusiastically that at one point I missed the step during a jump and landed square on the ass!
• I can quite literally see my goal in front of me, in all the fit, toned and terrific people in the class.  Of course there is a mixture of age and abilities in every class - I like to find someone with the same body type as me, but in much better shape, and use her as my motivation (I am doing this so I can look like that)
• I don't have to "do" anything other than stay for the class and do what I'm told, for as long as I'm told.  There's someone right up there showing me what to do when - it's like packet mix cake; all you do is follow the directions and you know you'll get the result!

That said, tomorrow I can't make it to the pump class, so it'll be a solo weights work out for me!

Coffee Yoghurt WIN!

WOOHOO!  A successful batch of coffee yoghurt!  I'm still going to fiddle with this a little, but I'll give you the base recipe now :).  At around 130cals for a 200g tub (pictured), it's an awesome little treat.  It's got quite a strong "tang" to it - if you prefer sweet yoghurt, you may like to add some more sugar, but don't forget to add the calories.

I make mine using the EasiYo yoghurt maker.

Ingredients
1.5 cups of skim milk powder
2tblsp starter culture (any live yoghurt - I used Jalna Low Fat Creamy Vanilla)
200ml brewed espresso
800ml water
20g light sweetened condensed milk
3tblsp caster sugar

Method
Combine the 200ml of espresso, 300ml of water, milk powder, condensed milk, starter culture and sugar.  Mix or shake until well combined.

Top up with remaining 500ml of milk (total mixture volume should now be around 1 litre).  Insert into hot water bath in EasiYo as normal and let rest for at least 12 hours.  If you like a really creamy yoghurt, around 18 hours is best.  Refrigerate for 4-6 hours before serving.

Cappucino Yoghurt Fail and OMG I ate fish!

The first batch of cappucino yoghurt was a bit of a bust.  Didn't set quite as well as I wanted, and was VERY strong - I think I put far too much espresso in it!  So, I'm going to have a fiddle with the ratios over the weekend and try another batch to see if I can improve on it.

In other breaking news...I ate fish and actually liked it!  Last night we had the trevalla fillets with baby spinach and cherry tomatoes and to my surprise, it was actually REALLY good.  I'm usually an avid fish avoider, but I've been finding this week that there are a lot of things that I "don't like" that actually taste really good when prepared well.  Mind you, I think the kids' heads are spinning with the variety - one of my sons said to me yesterday "Mummy, you don't have to make a NEW RECIPE for dinner every night!"

First Weigh In - Yee Haw!

And if I may toot my own horn just a little - YEE HAW 1KG DOWN!  I was quite surprised, because I fell off the wagon a bit over the weekend - yes Mish, you can stick your boot in my bum, I did have a little bit of a "last hurruh".  I was expecting maybe 500g if I was lucky!

I discovered the most delicious yoghurt yesterday - if you love yoghurt and coffee, The Yoghurt Shop make an absolutely stunning cappucino yoghurt!  Sadly, it's over 200 calories per tub :(.  But, fear not...I'm going to have a crack at reproducing a low fat, lower calorie version with the EasiYo tonight - so far looks like it would work out around 165 cals.  Mmmmmmmmm, coffee yoghurt...

In other news, I made the miraculous discovery that not only do I have triceps, they hurt like hell when I push it at pump the night before.  I've woken up this morning accompanying all my movements with a lilting "owwwww".  Which, I suppose, is good...right?  Good pain, good pain!

Kick off!

Ok guys...this is IT!  Day 1 of the rest of my life and all that.

Breakfast wasn't vastly different to my usual, but that freaky tabouli wrap stole half an hour of my morning getting it all ready - note to self: PRE PREPARE!  I'll have to make sure I go through tomorrow's menu tonight before bed, so I'm more organised.  That said, once I did get down to making it, it was actually super easy and something I think we'll do again.

The wrap was awesomely yummy, but sadly I'm still hungry :(.  I'm still feeling really disorganised and like I haven't really "caught up" with it all, but so far, it's feeling like a good start to the program.  My heart rate monitor arrived this morning, just in time for Body Attack tonight.  I'm a bit daunted by having to hit the gym every night - more because of how much time that's taking out of my evening than anything else!

Is that me? Really? Does it have to be?

ARGGGHHHH!


This morning I took a deep breath, stripped off to bra and knickers, and had my hubby do my "before" shorts for the 12 Week Body Transformation program.  I'm doing my measurements tonight and, being a seamstress, I'm not nearly so distressed about those.  I measure myself semi-regularly when making garments, so I'm already aware that my waist over hip ratio is horrible, that I have wide hips and a huge bust.

But oh...oh when you LOOK at it in all it's digital photographic glory, it's horrible!  I looked at my before pictures, and have had another moment this morning of really struggling to see the potential in the raw material.  I've lost 10kg for goodness sake and I still look this awful?  And that ricotta cheese tummy flab, just what am I meant to do about that???

It's made me realise just how much I have my work cut out for me over the next 12 weeks.  I not only want to lose at least 12kg - I want to be able to take pictures at the end of that which don't make me want to gouge my eyes out with a bar of soap!

Bring on Monday, I say!

My first 5km race!

Just before the race

This weekend just gone I achieved my first running goal - completing a 5km course with no walking!  To say I was stoked with myself is a complete understatement.  It was a major milestone for me not just physically, but mentally.

I realised while watching Chanel 10's The Biggest Loser that a big part of my problem has been in my head, not in my legs, lungs or heart!  My body CAN do more than I've been asking of it, if I am prepared to push it.  So, I went into the race with a "no excuses, no buts" attitude.  Not "I am going to try to make it the whole way", but "I will run 5km".  No try.  Just do.

Was it hard?  You bet.  It was the hardest run I've done to date - I've never pushed myself that hard in training before.  In fact, I spent the final 200 meters just visualising myself collapsing on the grass just past the finish line and how awesome that would feel.  For the km prior to that, I was picturing the contestants in the most recent The Biggest Loser episode pulling those City  Rail trains and screaming to myself mentally I am a warrior!

My official time was 40:33.  I'm now training to run a 10km in about 3 months time, but hoping to do at least one more 5km race before then, with a time of 35minutes or less. 

Perspective...

Perspective.  It's a funny thing.  I had a really down day a week or so again - I'd lost over 8kg, and it felt like nobody had noticed.  In fact, to be brutal, most people probably hadn't, other than my constant harping on about it.  And you know why?  From their perspective, I still fit fairly and squarely into the "fat chick" box.

Have you ever noticed how we tend to categorise people?  Men and women, blonde and brunette, child and adult, fat and thin.  It's an essential instinct built in to our brains, to stop them from becoming overwhelmed.  So when you're waiting to meet your 170cm, slender girlfriend for a coffee, it's much easier to keep an eye out for her if your brain is shutting out anything not in the "female, tall, slender" categories.

And let's face it, even at 8kg down, with over 22kg to go...I'd still be firmly in the "fat chick" filter of most people's brains.  And that felt extremely depressing.

BUT!  From MY perspective...

• Being puffed now means I'm working hard at training, not getting out of breath just living my life
• I've bought three new pairs of pants in the last month, and dropped a size
• I eat better food that doesn't leave my body feeling sluggish and lethargic

So.  This is MY weight loss journey for ME and I need to start looking at my progress from MY perspective.  Not anyone else's and whatever filters their brain might need to apply.  I'm going to keep reminding myself that weight loss is about what changing my body means to me, my life and my family.

I did it! First 10kg gone - don't let the door hit ya!

Today is a milestone day for me for two reasons, only one of which I expected.

Today was the first day of school, for my gorgeous twin boys.  This, of course, was expected.

Today was ALSO the day I reached my first 10kg of weight loss!  Which was not quite expected - I thought it would take me another week to get there.

I am SO happy with today.  My sons have had a lovely, if hot, start to school and came home chattering about their various activities.  They also came home to a Mummy who feels like she is in a much better position to be a positive, healthy role model for them than she was 12 months ago.

Bring on the 20kg down milestone, I say!

You know, I could get used to this outdoor running thing...

I kicked off this morning with a run around the huge park across the road from my work.  This was my second-to-last run in Week 7 of the Couch to 5K program - which means I only have two more weeks to go.  Scary!

And you know, I actually enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would.  I'm starting to get used to the "headspace" of running outdoors, not constantly being able to check the timer to see how far I've gone and how long there is to go.  Probably also helped that I'm doing some penance from a few "treats" yesterday on Australia Day - whoops!

Onwards and downwards...can't wait to see 81.6kg - 10kg down - and buy the ThinkGeek tee I've been promising myself.

Welcome to Kath...V2

Ahoy!  I've decided I'm going to blog my journey of "30 by 30" - losing 30kg by my 30th in July 2011!  I'm already 8kg down, and about to start on the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation program to help me kick the other 22.

This is me at the start of my journey, 91.6kg:

This is me, three weeks ago finishing my first fun run, a 4.5k:

An awful finish photo, but I'm DAMN PROUD!  I can't wait to hit my first 10kg down, and just after that, getting under 80kg is a big psychological moment for me.